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[02 Oct 2007|01:36pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | gravenhurst ] Calm down, calm down, calm down. I'm always nervous for some reason. I need to stop trying to make things happen and start letting things fall into place. Its been about a year since I've made an entry in here. In this time Ive hurt, been hurt, gone on tour, learned to love beer, continue to learn how to play guitar and practice daily, written enough songs to record a solo e.p. and I'm currently forcing myself to be comfortable with being alone. tonight im going to see bat for lashes at the bottle, thursday is beruit. workin it

[28 Oct 2006|06:34pm] last night I sang with a blue grass band. best experience of my life. workin it

saturday afternoon [16 Sep 2006|01:31pm] I love good saturday afternoons. woke up and went to get lunch with josh. It was nice to see the good amount of bike riding that goes on in my town. I wasn't aware of it. After lunch went to the thrift store and found some goods. thrifting always puts me in a good mood. Im very tired lately. My days off dont even feel like days off. I have a show next friday. I wish I could have sonja and scott come to it. I know they probably cant afford it but you cant blame a girl for wishing. I invited my parents to come. I have no idea why, I get nervous when they are around. I have been getting closer to them and I figured that I should start including them in what goes on in my life. workin it

[09 Sep 2006|06:37pm] lately all I am is tired. workin it

[06 Sep 2006|11:19am] [ mood | busy ] [ music | russian circles ] Karma is a bitch, and It's all coming back to me I'm sure of it. That is the only way I can explain the amount of shit that has happened to me one right after the other over the past couple of days. So as it turns out my job is REALLY stressful. So much to do. I think being a gas station cashier is one of the worst cashier jobs there is. I'm sure ones who work at gas stations get yelled at by customers way more than any job Ive ever had. Having a boyfriend is weird. Im trying so hard to get used to it. I really like him, alot. But balancing time for myself, time for the house, time for work and time with my boyfriend is harder than I thought it would be. I'm drained in every way possible. My roommate says the house is never clean enough. Yet, I'm constantly trying to live up to his roommate expectations. I need a remote that will let me put a pause on life. just for a little. Just when I thought the weather was going to be turning into cold breath at night, I wake up and feel the sun beating down on me. I want to drink hot chocolate and wear a jacket already. 5 tiny dancers | workin it

[04 Sep 2006|11:53am] I have a show coming up in about a week and a half and I don't feel ready for it. I can't help but feel bored with my routine lately. I go to work, hang out with clay, go to sleep, go to work, hang out with clay, go to sleep. I wish I had more projects to work on. I think im going to make time for myself. Life out here is so much different from my northside living. I miss being able to ride my bike to one of the many bars that would be a couple blocks from me. I miss being surrounded by people my age. Out here I just keep running into people from highschool who tell me how many kids they've had since I've seen them last. sonja. i need you. I cant wait to go to grants party. happy birthday grant! ( whenever it is) 1 tiny dancers | workin it

[28 Aug 2006|12:56pm] So I'm quitting aurelios after being there for a month and a half. Being a phone girl and making 200 dollars every two weeks just doesnt work for someone who lives on their own. I barely had enough for groceries. I start my new job at a gas station near my house today. 4-12. I dont mind the hours and I will be making twice as much as I was before. perfect. car soon. Hosea is doing really well. We have a few shows coming up and the two that we have had already went very well. clay is wonderful. last night I got out of work and was tired. I went to the bathroom came out and he had folded my laundry. WHO DOES THAT? Its so nice to be around someone who cares and helps me when I dont even ask. I could get used to this. so more money means.... more thrifting, time to go to the craft store and start buying new yarn for the fall and winter! I'm so excited. Im supposed to meet up with some friends this week for dinner in the city. Its been way too long. happy monday. 1 tiny dancers | workin it

[30 Jun 2006|11:30am] I'm horrible at writing in this. So I live in south chicago now. I have an awesome roommate and a new boyfriend that im super into. I'm so busy lately, writing music and working with this boy mike reagan on a record. It's going to take until august I think. I've really gotten used to life being so suburban, but I really miss sonja and all the fun we normally have. I dont live anywhere near a train so its hard to get out to the city without a car. Sonjas birthday is on the fourth and I cant wait to see her. I've been pretty sick this entire week and I can't wait for my nose to stop being so stuffed. I bet smoking so many ciggerettes isnt helping the healing process. I'm babysitting and going to see the new superman movie this weekend. I hope it's good. Something tells me it should be though. Kevin spacey is such a babe. Hopefully an update soon. 6 tiny dancers | workin it

WE'RE LISTENING TO RICK JAMES, I CAN CALL YOU WHATEVER I WANT. [14 May 2006|12:24am] [ mood | drained ] [ music | erland oye ] too much going on to write it all. LOTS of fun times with sonja. LOTS of drinking LOTS of dancing. making new friends, having good times with old ones. recorded with josh today. i hate the way i sound. saturday night and im staying in. a break is way over due. worn out, tired, recovering. workin it

quick update [05 May 2006|02:11pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | do make say think ] Moved back unpacking having fun worked on songs with the band last night IM IN LOVE WITH IT recording soon date with sonja and parties this weekend so much going on tired yadda yadda blah <3 7 tiny dancers | workin it

Boom mutha fucka [01 May 2006|04:57pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | Watching the adams family ] one stone 2birds: haha, i think this weekend when i go get my martini glasses sculpted out i'm gunna get that sunken pirate ship on my bicep tea party for 1: do it one stone 2birds: i decided i want it there so that when i flex it looks like scuba divers planted dynamite in that bitch...boom mutha fucka That is my ex boyfriend. Probably the funniest thing I've heard all day. So today I realized why I never kept in close contact with my mom. She never listens. We had our first argument since we started talking on a consistant basis. The good thing is, we apologized to each other and worked things out. That is huge progress for us. I have to finish packing today. After today only two more days here. Tommorow night I'm going to go see pinback at the South Gate house in Kentucky. The south gate house is the first place I've ever done karaoke at. I did " brass and pocket" by the pretenders. It was great. It will be my last time seeing the cincinnatt skyline and those really fucking beautiful hills everywhere. I watched a really good movie this morning called jesus son. It was pretty much all about this guys battle with drugs. His girlfriend od's and he is tripping balls the whole time. miranda july is in a small scene. She offers the main character a huge pill of mushrooms that has been ground up. She had a black eye. I'm going to make spaghetti for dinner tonight. 6 tiny dancers | workin it

bummed city [01 May 2006|12:32am] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | mazzy star ] leaving is so final. I'm pretty sure I'll never live here again and when I think about it I get bummed. I leave in 3 days. Lonely weekend spent in my room. my last weekend in dayton. I noticed lately that anytime I go out or have a good time I'm bummed the next day. I took a nap earlier and had a dream I was at some type of party and some ghetto girls wanted to fight me. I kept telling them I didn't want to fight but the girl said " we don't have to fight, I just wanna put you to sleep" ( while motioning her fist to my face). At this point I went to a table where my mom and Dad were sitting and kind of hid by them. Then abi from cincinatti was there and I had this weird phone that kept ringing. when I answered it was justin timberlake. In my dream he was telling me that he and his girlfriend had broken up and he wanted to be with me ( what the fuck?). He came to the party to meet me and he was wearing a hoodie. He seemed uncomfortable and kept covering his face so no one would recognize him. I was pretty much in shock but I wanted to show him off to abi. Couldnt find her anywhere. The dream ended with my mom and dad droping me off at the el. weird I've been calling my mom alot lately. This is very unlike me. We have never had that kind of mother daughter relationship. I normally go weeks with without communication with her. I called her everyday this week. Its been nice. 3 tiny dancers | workin it

[30 Apr 2006|09:11am] [ mood | giggly ] [ music | Kings of convenince ] So I actually started packing yesterday. I got in the shower around 10 p.m. My friend joey came over to hang out one last time before I move. I am DEFINITELY going to miss him. I showed him one of the songs I had written for the record. He loved it. I wish I would have shown it to him earlier. We listened to elliot smith and kings of convenince. druunk. He took the wood I was using for paint and drew whales on it. We went to waffle house for some coffee.( I'm totally going to miss going to waffle houses) I started drinking at like 9 p.m. So by the time he came over I was buzzing pretty hard. I continued drinking strawberry lemonade and vodka while he was here. I guess I wasnt paying attention to how many glasses I had because this morning when I woke up all of the vodka was gone. I barely remember him leaving at like 5 a.m. Not being sober and hanging out made me less sad that we wouldn't be having late night hang outs in my room anymore. I wish I could take the all the rad people I've met in ohio and take them to Chicago with me. That would be perfect. So much organizing to do today. It's cold and rainy here. I like it. My stomach hurts. I'm sleepy. I have a secret to keep. FIN. 4 tiny dancers | workin it

[28 Apr 2006|10:56pm] I told myself I was going to pack today. Didn't happen. Went on another run, this time I brought maddie. Put in an order for a " family jewel" from amanda. I'm so proud of her. Little does everyone know, that girl has been doing shit forever. Very crafty. You should see the girl with a silk screen. Right now I'm watching " the worlds creepiest destinations" on the travel channel. Apparently hollywood is one of the most haunted places. I would love to visit the haunted hotels there. Anyone up for a roadtrip? This day was uneventful. 6 more days until I am no longer an ohio resident. I'm excited. I talked to my mom today, she bought me a queen sized bed! This was so unexpected. I'm looking forward to living with her for awhile. I want to take care of her. My father pretty much made her life hell and I want to take a little bit of that off of her shoulders. I'm obsessed with eating lately. I think buying a scale has furtherd that. After further investigation of the " babe" who invited me to his party....I discoverd he is a mini johnny love. bad news. Time to finish watching worlds creepiest places. 2 tiny dancers | workin it

[28 Apr 2006|01:36am] [ music | the shit I just wrote ] I just finished another song for the record and I'm going to bed. workin it

babes! [27 Apr 2006|10:10pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | beat happening ] Today was pretty low key. cleaned. ran. ate. smoked. played with maddie. after feeling down all week because of a crappy dude, it was nice to get an invitation to a party from my friends roomate. ( baabbe ) it's next saturday in logan square. I forgot that chicago was chock full of babes and I'm totally single. I don't think I should date anyone but I most certainly can accept invites to parties. sorry this post is boring. Im sure shit will get better once im out of ohio. 7 more days the countdown begins workin it

what you know about that?? [26 Apr 2006|11:33pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | deerhoof ] After a taco salad and milkshake with joe tonight I feel better. He picked me up at my apartment and we talked about ohio and thailand. I was a little sad about leaving ohio until he said " the amount of fun you have in chicago ain't right" it's true. I've never had a better time. I'm looking forward to being with friends again, shit to do almost every night of the week. Walking around at night and running into everyone you know. I miss that. I also love spending time alone because I need a break from all of the excitment. There is no excitment here, so im constantly seeking company. I'm not sure what I'll be doing this weekend. Part of me wants to go to cincinnati one last time, part of me wants to stay behind and forget all about that place. Joey will be in Dayton this weekend and wants to hang out. I'll see what im up for by friday. The rub is going to be in the natti next wednesday at clique. Id love to go but ill be moving the next morning. I hope all of those red heads take advantage of that, shit should be alot of fun.   pinback tuesday? maybe? I wish thursday would come faster. workin it

[26 Apr 2006|03:27pm] [ mood | confused ] Let's get down to it. I've lived in three different states in the past year and im tired. I've met so many people built so many friendships/relationships and also burned bridges of some of those people. I'm getting ready to move back home with my mom for a month or two until I find an apartment somewhere in chicago. I spent the weekend at the hosea house. I wanted to see them all before I left ohio. I'm going to miss those kids. Even though I shouldn't I'm going to miss Alex alot. Why do we always want attention from the ones who won't give it to us? It's going to be a long week. I hate packing. I have no car and I have a sinus infection. One good thing about the move is as soon as I get back to my moms Im going to record all of the songs I've written while in ohio with my friends from tower of rome. It's funny that my ex boyfriends grindcore band is going to help me play and record my folk music. Today I watched Americas Next Top model while eating KFC. 4 tiny dancers | workin it

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